Love!!!

Love! Often we see people talking about love. I suppose that any person comes across this word many time daily in his endeavor of life. So what is this thing called love? For me Love is simply an abstract concept like God or like Mathematics.Like they said in 'The Matrix' Love is word which expresses the thought that I want to keep a relation with you.

Love is when all reason ends. Love is the point when you do something and you never understand why are you doing it. No one ever falls we all are born with it, we only need to discover what or whom we love. Something or someone with which you want a relation, beyond any logic. When talking about a relation beyond logic it is implied that the relation should hold for eternity else its not love its just a mean to reach for something else you love. The only case when love sees an end it is with the end of ones soul not necessarily ones body. Love never brings pain but gives a way to fight it. Often people mistake love for attraction or infatuation. It can be taken as a thumb rule that love requires no effort at all, if it is love it will surely find a way. Love is always the force which moves us towards the one we love, similar to the forces in nature which have no definite reason. Follows the concept of infinity, so no matter how much we love we will always have more to love. Love is the search in depth and more depth for what we love. Love is the reason we live!

*Note: Here while talking about love, there are no assumptions about a person or a thing and the issue of ethics and morals has been kept out.

The SideEffect of Success

What does the title of post suggest to you? But it is not what you are thinking, I am not going to talk about some kind of a bad change as a result of getting success. So what is it that I want to make a point about?
The story had started long ago, but we will read from where the climax began. It was the second Sunday of February 2008, the day for the GATE exam. I was very nervous. I started with the paper but it too was more difficult than what I had anticipated. Anyway the day passed and I was back to my life.
Every time I have thought of making a career I have always thought of research (in the abstract sense). This need of choosing a career intensifies as one reaches the end of college. And one really has to think hard if one's percentage is not the best one can get. The importance of it lies in the fact that it is the choice which defines what your life will be. The only way I could be into research now was by getting into BARC,ISRO or DRDO.
But there is no one who can guess what life can bring to your face. Along came the 15 of March and brought with it the GATE result. I qualified and got a just good enough rank which could possibly get me into an IIT. For the next few days I was meticulously filling forms to apply to the various Institutes. Anyway I still had to appear for the ISRO written exam. A few days later and I was attending calls from IIT Madras and IIT Guwahati. The result of the interview at IIT Madras was not declared, but I was selected for the MTech program at IIT Guwahati. So went back to the college and celebrated. Soon came the result of ISRO too, I was called for the interview, I had another interview call from BARC based on my GATE score. Not taking much time my selection for the MS program at IIT Madras was also finalized. This was the best I could have asked for. I wanted to do research and here was the best opportunity to start a research career.
As life moves there are thing which you can't stop from happening I had to leave college. To stop myself from feeling the pain of leaving the wonderful place, I decided to move around India and attend the interviews. Staying only for one night at home I left for Bhopal, to attend the interview of ISRO. After attending the interview I left for Mumbai where I had to attend the interview for BARC. Against all expectations, (owing to my preparations) I also got selected in BARC. I had a few days in hand there so I went around Mumbai well. Soon went to Pune to visit a friend and then back to Nainital to spend a week at home.
Then I had to leave for Chennai where my dreams were awaiting me. The first few days here were busy with filling up forms and getting things settled. It is a policy of the institute to call the research students early. So after all the running of six months I finally got sometime. This is the time when I started to realize what I had left behind. Past six months were the most successful months of my life I cracked every exam I gave but the coming next month evened it all.
Here I was at a totally new place almost alone with lots of time and nothing to do. Memories of the past were striking with full force. Also at this time I was reviled that my love for research had made me fall in love with BARC and ISRO too. Its funny but my heart at times demanded that I should not leave those opportunities. As the studies started, which an easy going person like me is not use to, the urge to join job offers at hand increased. Much of the time I used to think about them. This has continued till the time the last dates for joining were not past. Joining hands with nostalgia and patriotism it has given me a few of the worst feelings I have ever experienced.
Love against all the reasons in the world can make you feel things you don't want to feel. The heart doesn't care how successful you are. All it understands is that when you love something you should not loose it. And if ever in your life you are in love with things or people, such that being with one makes you part with another. God Help You!!!
In the mean time I have become used to the new system made a few new friends and got to know the importance of the old ones and moreover I have learned to see life from an angle unknown to me earlier....

The story of Change

Recently I passed out of KEC(my graduate college) and had to start with a new beginning, as I have written in my earlier post. Moving out of one system to another is like taking birth again. But I had never imagined that the change that seems so little can shake one's life so heavily.
The story starts with my leaving the college. Initially it didn't seemed that bad but when I came to IIT Madras (where I am presently studying) the realization of change slowly dawned on me. The new place demanded a completely new lifestyle from what I had earlier. The load of studies was different, the people were different, the climate was different. I have had to learn small thing like cycling which I didn't knew before. Things became painful at times with even small things. But I have grown over things and adapted to this new system, this is what they call growth.
I still miss all that I have left behind but there is a new life ahead and a completely new world to explore, new horizons to conquer.........

My Love

Hi Sweetheart,
I always knew this day would come and you would be sitting here reading what is being read. I always knew you would understand, you would be able to read the signs I had left. For if you hadn’t then you would not have been the girl. But now that you have reached so far you probably want me to say something. Something has to be said. And that something is I Love You! I love you for being what you are I love you for coming so far. I love you for being so intellectual. I love you for being so beautiful and I love you for…..
You are again correct to think of this as a love letter. This is a love letter. But the feeling of the letter should not come from the content but from the place where it is placed. It is this place which is making it so sacred. It is the way in which this is being read and not what is read which is special about what you are reading.
It’s been dreams so many dreams. Dreams in which we meet, dreams where I experience the divine love. And now finally this day has come and today you know for sure that I love you. The only thing missing is that you can’t see me in this moment, but I know you can feel me. It can’t be stated in words how I am feeling at this particular time. The girl of my life knows that I love her! All those moments of pain and agony have ended in which dreams were my only oases. Today imagination turns to reality, it’s not only that I love you but I also know that you love me! Can anyone guess what it brings out of me?
There is so much I want to talk to you about; so much that it is more than infinity. To compare it with the space here is a crime. So wait till the next time we meet and then we’ll conquer infinity.
All questions answered but one remains, you know who I am but do you know who you are?

Love? You?

She was sitting right in front of me; my eyes were fixed on her face and brain trying to resolve what was so beautiful about the signals my eyes were receiving? This was the part of a group discussion in which time is given to the participants to think on the topic. Yes, I was sitting in the SAVI room. She didn’t know what was going on my mind. The group discussion started and if Locality of Reference is right I had to think about something different now. The session ended and I wanted to talk to her for more time but there are some things beyond your control.
That evening was like any other. In bed as I recalled the day she captured my thoughts. When I fell asleep, I cannot tell.
“Hi, Sandeep”, I heard a familiar voice. When I turned God’s greatest creation was standing before me “Not in a mood for SAVI. Why don’t we go for a walk” She said, her voice ringing bells in my ears.
“As you wish”, I replied. My heart beats were similar to that of an athlete who was under the effect of an adrenalin gush.
“I always wanted to be with you, never got a chance”, she smiled.
“Let’s sit there near the trees”, I said, my voice started choking.
Gathering my nerves I asked “You were going to tell me something”.
“Yes…. I have been wondering for sometime now…. Don’t you know…. Just look into my eyes”. She somehow said, not knowing what to say.
It must have been a similar moment when Einstien thought of Time Dilation because his results were now being experimentally verified. In the millenniums which I lived, I cannot define exactly in which century it took place but, as soon as my lips touched hers I was lost in a world beyond description.
“Sandeep, we will be late for the lecture” some one shouted, all of a sudden. I looked around to see no one until I heard the voice once again.
“Wake up dude or else we’ll be thrown out of the class”. It was Vinay my roommate.
Everything disappeared, except the feeling of her lips, her breath blowing me away.
I hurried to the class; while attending the boring lecture, my mind started wandering, what it was last night? Was it love? If love is a feeling can there be anything more divine. Though it was a dream, the passion in dream is always more pure, more strong and greater than that in real life, for instance fear, anxiety or even sex.
May be she doesn’t even know that I love her. It’s true that what I felt that night was not the reality and had no physical existence. But then emotions are to be felt and not to be judged. What I held that night is a precious gem which can never be taken away.

Abstraction of Life

Well from the topic of this post and that of of the blog it would have been preety easy to guess that life is my favaurite topic to discuss. So here goes the latest abstraction I have been thinking about lately.

Its funny what I have to say because, it is an abstraction an analogy,and like always they have to be amusing.
Our College life and our life as it is has a lot of similarities!
Life begins with taking birth. College life begins with your admission
Then you live childhood learning all new things good and bad. In college you go through the first year learning what college is all about, learning new things, gaining new experiances which can be good and bad.
The second phase of life is when you grow a little when your teenage comes this I guess is the most exciting time of life. You dont think about anything you just do what you feel like doing. Same is the case with second year in college you don't have to worry about what is going to come what your future will be you just enjoy college.
Then comes the third phase the time comes when life makes you a serious person this is the time when all the responsibility of the world is resting on your shoulders you have got to do, I don't know what but you do know it. The third year of college plays the same game, the time when you have got to prove your self has come all sorts of exams, jobs and God knows what else are standing in front of you... So you must face it
For the last phase I will talk about college life first. The final year in college the BIG FINAL YEAR all has been achived and its been decided what your next place will be. This is the time you realize that your time is coming to an end your death is aproching. There is so much you want to do but most of the time is lost. You strive hard you try to do as much as you can but still you can't do everthing and you've got to accept your time is over. But in this case life is a little different. As for life there comes a time when you realize that you are settled all that needed to be done has been done its been a long road you have travelled you look back you look at all you have gained and lost. this is the time you get this feeling in your heart that you have missed something. Something that you wanted something your heart wanted, something your soul wanted. BUT that something is lost. Lost because you can't achieve it. You can't achive it because you don't have time. You don't have time because you are dead. Your final year is over!

Don't Know What To Do...

Sorry People For Dissapointing you...
This is the first time I experimented with blogs so didn't had much to write but wait for the next time u won't be dissapointed.......